Miscarriage. It is a word that had never crossed my mind before; a word that I had never heard discussed at church.  Yet, miscarriage is such a common place that 10 to 25% of all clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG).  If miscarriage happens more than we like to acknowledge, why has it been something we do not talk about, especially in the Christian community. One reason might be the fact that many miscarriages occur at the early stage of pregnancy and thus the couple experienced the lost before they could share their news of pregnancy with others.  Another reason could be a sense of fear or guilt the women feel about their lost. They might feel guilty or fear of others blaming her for causing the miscarriage. Lastly, miscarriage has not been discussed in church because we might not know how to grabble with this topic as Christians?

“So how should Christian view miscarriages?” I thought when I walked out from my ultrasound appointment.  How should I understand the meaning of having a six-week fetus in my womb that has no heartbeat?  Inevitable, I was in denial at first, thinking it was a mistake that would be clear up with another ultrasound in a week.  However, when all my nausea subsided and bleeding began within a week, I knew there was no mistake. I ran through in my mind all the possible causes. Was it from the stress of my seventy-hour work week for the past three months or was it from my one-year-old son jumping and kicking on my lap?

No matter what I perceive the cause was, I knew God was the ultimate governor of life and He makes no mistake.  In Job 1:21, Job reminded us that “the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” In God’s sovereignty, He gave me a second child and it was also in His sovereignty that He took him or her away at six weeks in the womb.  In Jeremiah 1:5, God said “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…”  Although the little one lived only six weeks in my womb, God knows this child inside out. God loves this child more than I do. I do not need to know the reason behind God’s doing because I trust that He has both the child and my best interest in mind. The Scripture reminded us in Psalm 84:11 that “the Lord will not withhold any good thing from them that walk uprightly.” Although it might be hard to understand how a mishap such as a miscarriage or a paralyzing stroke could be a blessing from God, we have to be reminded that our perspectives and understandings of this world are limited and only God can see the entire picture, including the consequences of each events.  “For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.” (1 Cor 1:25) Being a Christian means having a trust in our faithful God regardless of the trying circumstances in life. Unlike other religions which promise good living to those who fellow, Jesus did not guarantee an easy life for His followers. On the contrary, Apostle Paul said that there will surely be difficulties in our life, but God’s promise to us is that our sufferings are not in vain (Ro 5:3-4 & 8:28) and He will carry our burdens for us (Mt 11:30).[1]  

As much as I want to be able to hold this child in my arm and see him or her grow up as part of our family, I know he or she is at a much better place, in the secure arms of Jesus.  I remembered sharing with my husband about how blessed is this child, being able to ride the express elevator to heaven, skipping the toils of this world.  I am looking forward to meet this child one day. Although we will no longer have a parent-child relationship, we will definitely rejoice in the presence of our Lord.