Statement of Calling

God’s great commission is for His followers to go and make disciples of all nations. My MasteLife training class once again reminded my promise with God. Since then, I decided to become one of God’s missionaries for the orphans in China and felt compelled and a sense of urgency to serve Him in my own unreached home town. Seminary education will further equip me to be a better soldier for Christ. By offering myself, I keep my promise with the Lord.

An interesting and weird dream I had when I was three. I was falling into an abyss, but was caught by a hard surface that felt like a rock. Although the impact was harsh, it felt safe and I continued to sleep. The fear and lost in the falling dream was exactly how I felt when my father died unexpectedly when I was four years old. My father was the pillar of our family. After he passed away, my family was shattered both emotionally and financially. We were also psychologically corrupted; we were in the darkness and helpless. My mother was forced to leave the household because of family duel while my sister was separated from me and my younger brother among the relatives. Yet in the mist of this dark and chaotic time, God caught me with His firm hands and brought me safely from China to the United States through the adoption of a barren Chinese couple from San Francisco in 1990. Later, I figured that the hard surface caught in my dream was God’s plan to build up my life on a rock, for “He is the rock”. My US parents brought out from the atheistic China, and my mother raised me in church.

I did not learn about Christianity until I came to the United States. My first contact with the Gospel was through the youth fellowship at my church. During the first three years, I was reluctant to accept this new found faith because it appeared to me as just another kind of philosophy or set of values and belief. It was no different from other religions such as Buddhism. However, one aspect I did see through my Bible studies was how all things existed not by coincidence; rather, they were carefully and perfectly engineered by a Creator. If the world really came to being from the Big Bang, how could there be such regular natural systems such as the four seasons and nine planets? Everything existed for a reason. I resonated with this notion greatly because I strongly believed my coming to the U.S. was not a coincidence. I knew there must be a reason, though I did not know it at the time.

Another biblical element that attracted me was Jesus. I used to believe things only existed if one believed they did. In other words, if you did not believe something existed, it probably did not. Yet, when I read about Jesus in the Bible, I could not help but recognize it was the Truth. He existed regardless of whether I believed. Moreover, the fact that Jesus came to the world to die for our sins and was resurrected was something I never encountered before. Despite the fact that I did not study other religions intensely, I knew of no other faith that would proclaim a god who suffered for human and was raised from the death. It was cleared to me only the True God could do that. If He could not control life, He would not be God.

I finally surrendered myself to Christ on Easter Sunday in 1993. When my pastor asked people to raise their hands if they wanted to accept Christ, I was reluctant to raise my hand, but the Holy Spirit was nudging my heart. My heart started to beat very fast. I felt an intense struggle in my heart. In my mind, I did not want to accept this gift, but my heart was jumping so fast that it felt like it was going to jump out. I was really surprised by the ardent emotion I felt because I did not have the same feeling in my previous evangelical meetings. When my pastor called the third and the last time, I was still unwilling to surrender. Then I remembered learning about the Holy Spirit from my Bible studies and realized my rapid heartbeat was the Holy Spirit knocking on the door. It was up to me whether I would open the door. I heard the Holy Spirit asking me why I would not open the door if I knew He is the one True God.

At that moment, I couldn’t stand my heartbeat anymore and raised my hand. When I did, a sudden warmth and peace enfolded me. I experienced a complete quietness that I had never tasted before. There was no sound, but just a sense of being bathed under the warm spring sunrays in a beautiful and peaceful place. I did not know how long this feeling lasted, but it was only when I began to hear noise again and opened my eyes, did I realize I was actually still in church.

I was baptized a year later and began to serve in the fellowship. As I served, I began to learn about the Great Commission and realized God saved me not merely for granting me an eternal life. He had a specific task for me to accomplish in His plan. Yet I did not feel the burden for spreading the Gospel until a near-death experience.

One morning in 1997 when I was running to catch a bus, I suddenly felt a chill over my body. All the sudden, I could not move my limbs. I tried screaming for help, but it seemed like nobody could hear me. All I could hear was my own heartbeat, but it grew weaker by the moment until it finally stopped. Then I found myself in a beautiful place filled with light and clouds. Although I could not see the source of light, my body and heart were overfilled with warmth, joy and peace. It was exactly the same feeling I had when I accepted Christ on that Easter Sunday. Even though I acknowledged the presence of God, I had never given much thought about the reality of heaven or hell. However, as I stood there I realized I was in paradise and what I read before about heaven and hell actually existed.

With this realization, fear overtook me, and suddenly I remembered all the responsibilities I still had in the world. Then I started to pray to God and ask HIM to send me back to the world because I still had two disabled parents to take care. I desired to have more time to serve in church because I just started and had not done a great job. I pleaded with God for opportunities to go on mission trips so I can fulfill the Great Commission as His follower.

I felt empowered after I prayed, and I was no longer scared. Then a shadow of a man appeared in front of me. The shadow was so big that it felt like a mountain. Although I couldn’t see the shadow clearly because it was behind a layer of fog, I knew it was God because I had this incredible feeling that my Father was just standing in front of me. Then I prayed, “Father, I am sorry that I have doubted your existence before. Now, I feel Your presence and have no reason for not believing in you. I beg you to send me back because I still have many obligations to fulfill. I promise you that I will dedicate my life to spreading the Gospel, and my descendants will serve and worship you as well.” I stood there after my prayer. Gradually, I could hear my heartbeat again, and the senses came to my limbs. When I woke up, I found myself fainted at the bus stop.

There is a mission God has for me. He did not bring me to the U.S. from China without a purpose. He did not spare my life without a reason. God has chosen me to bring the Gospel back to China and beyond. He has given me the burden to proclaim His good news to all those Chinese rural villagers and orphans who have not heard of Him yet. He wants me to establish churches in places where His presence has not been known yet. He wants all of His disciples to carry on the Great Commission. Though I have forgotten my promise to God for several years after my divine encounter, the Holy Spirit never stops reminding me that my time on earth is limited. Never have I felt such an urgency as today to do His work and equip myself with His wisdom.